It'll take a dose of political Viagra to put COAG on the right track

WOULD you like to earn a lazy $2.4 billion? That's a year. It's Kevin Rudd's latest get-rich-quick scheme. On second thoughts, hold the quick part. And, unfortunately, it would have to be shared with 22 million other Australians. Still, in these straitened times, why look a gift horse in the mouth?
After his latest meeting with premiers and chief ministers last week, the Prime Minister announced another breakthrough in his project to fix the federation. The breakthroughs at the Council of Australian Governments came so thick and fast that this one barely rated a mention in the media. Rudd and Transport Minister Anthony Albanese said the meeting had agreed to ``historic'' reforms to streamline transport regulations that ``have the potential to boost national income by as much as $2.4bn a year''. There would be a single national regulator for trucks, covering areas such as inspection standards, safe driving hours, weight limits and registration.
The Australian Maritime Safety Authority would become the national regulator of all commercial vessels operating in Australian waters, not just those that travel between states, as now. And there would be a national rail safety system.
What good ideas. Trucks have been travelling interstate for many years but still have to comply with all sorts of different rules when they cross borders. Trains don't stop at state borders either, at least not since the extension of the standard gauge, but nevertheless Australia has seven rail safety regulators and three rail safety investigators. Considering the US, with 50 states, has had one body responsible for rail safety since 1932 and there has been a European rail authority to harmonise the regulations of 23 countries since 2004, such a reform in Australia is, in the words of Rudd and Albanese, long overdue.
The cost of the tonnes of red tape, the duplication and the conflicting rules covering not only transport but scores of other areas add up to multiples of the $2.4bn on offer in transport. Clearing these thickets can provide a significant boost to productivity. According to Business Council of Australia president Greig Gailey, the progress COAG makes over the next 18 months in implementing such long-term reforms will determine Australia's prosperity for the next decade.
But before we get carried away with the euphoria, it pays to apply a reality check. Heads of government like to have so-called announceables following COAG meetings, but experience suggests these announcements should not always be taken at face value. The first niggling doubt emerges with a short sentence at the end of the Rudd-Albanese statement: ``It is proposed that all reforms will be fully implemented by 2013.'' That suggests there are just a few wrinkles to be ironed out. More than a few, as it turns out.
What the COAG meeting actually achieved on rail safety last week was to put the reforms into reverse, with the potential, believe it or not, for Australia to end up with more safety regulators than it has now.
A meeting of commonwealth and state transport ministers in May signed off on a single national rail safety regulator to ``provide a one-stop shop for all those operating in and on our rail networks'', as the statement issued at the time said. Victoria subsequently had second thoughts when the state's transport bureaucrats raised concerns. Did Victoria really want a national body determining safety issues on Melbourne's trams and trains? What if that resulted in a demand that Victoria spend billions of dollars on its rail systems to comply with national rules?
The advisers were persuasive enough for Premier John Brumby to take the objections first to a meeting with his state and territory counterparts, and then to COAG last week. Instead of telling Brumby where to get off, Rudd meekly went along. As a result -- and contrary to the misleading Rudd-Albanese announcement -- COAG failed to agree on a single national regulator. In the words of the detail buried deep in the COAG communique, there will be ``further consideration of the scope and form of the regulator following receipt of advice at the end of 2009 from the standing committee on transport on specific safety requirements within jurisdictions, especially in relation to urban systems and the interface with interstate and freight operations''. You can bet the Victorian bureaucrats had a celebratory cappuccino after that one.
In plain English, what the communique means is that the Victorians want their own regulator for metropolitan rail. The other states may start thinking what's good for Victoria will do them nicely, as well. As Bryan Nye, chief executive of the industry body the Australasian Rail Association, puts it, under the Victorian proposals ``we will end up with a bigger mess than we have now''. Take a freight train carrying grain from rural Victoria to Geelong. Part of its journey is on the Melbourne metropolitan network, where it could come under the jurisdiction of the metropolitan regulator as well as the national one. ``Sheer madness,'' Nye says.
Still, nothing much surprises Nye and others in the rail industry. Administration of the railways is a metaphor for everything that is wrong with the Australian federation. The reforms on rail safety are as blindingly obvious as a uniform rail gauge, but that doesn't stop them being next to impossible to achieve.
Federal and state governments reached agreement as long ago as 1996 on the need for ``a cost-effective, nationally consistent approach to railway safety''. In 1999, an independent review commissioned by governments recommended a single national rail safety regulator, a finding since echoed by the Productivity Commission and the National Transport Commission. In 2006, COAG identified as one of six hot spots warranting priority action the harmonisation of rail and road regulation, including safety. All governments are supposed to have passed national rail safety legislation two years ago but most missed the deadline and Tasmania and the Northern Territory have not yet gotten around to introducing their bills. The acts that have passed all include variations from the national model. For example, NSW decided it would require two drivers on interstate freight trains, meaning that an extra driver has to be sent to Victoria or South Australia to get on board before trains cross into NSW. It would be funny if it weren't so serious.
Fixing the federation is one of Rudd's professed priorities and he calls COAG ``the workhorse of the nation''. There has indeed been progress but it has been more in the process than in terms of achievements. As public servants present and former from Rudd down will tell you, the right structure has to be put in place and it is the result that matters.
But in some areas, such as managing the Murray-Darling Basin, time is running out and the delays are causing real harm. There has been no end to the benchmarks and goals and interim targets for tackling everything from indigenous disadvantage and homelessness to standardising business reporting, but precious little yet in real resources on the ground.
In transport, agreement on a single regulator for trucks is significant, as are new heavy vehicle user charges. But like many other issues, including uniform national occupational health and safety laws for businesses operating across state boundaries, the timetable has slipped. The operation of the new arrangements is often years away and compromises have cast doubt on the eventual result.
What COAG needs is a good dose of political Viagra. If that doesn't work, Rudd should drop the nice guy approach and flex some of the commonwealth's muscle. If Victoria is so keen on fencing off its metropolitan rail system from big bad government in Canberra, then Rudd may like to suggest that it do without the commonwealth funding as well, including the $3.2bn being kicked in for a new express line from Werribee to the city. Then we would quickly find out states' rights, too, have their limits.

Wii Told You So...

Nintendo. They made a few game console and handheld portable game systems. They were responsible for Mario, Link, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Star Fox, Banjo, Kazooie, and Halo. Ok, maybe not Halo, but they still rock. When I first heard Wii was going to be the name of the new Nintendo console, my opinion was different from everyone else's. I wasn't angry...I was disgusted

Ok, so not that much different; the name sucks. But don't fret, I am still using the money I am making at this "job" to buy it. Know why? Here are my top 10 reasons to buy a Nintendo (shiver) WII.

1. First Party Games: Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime 3
2. Third Party Support: Red Steel, Sadness
3. Virtual Console: Play all your old favorites
4. New Innovative Control Scheme: It's a freakin' motion-sensored remote
5. WiiConnect24: Online gaming, 24/7 (yes, WC24 is its real name)
6. DS Support: Download demos and items to your DS games
7. Cheep Cheep!: The Wii will cost at the most $250, much less than the $600 PS3
8. Wii Bit Small: Nintendo has promised me I can fit it in my pockets
9. A YTMND Game!:...Not rly, but I would buy it
10. The Awesome Name: Ok I ran out of ideas

Snakes v2 (Review of the Second Going)

Yeah, Snakes on a Plane rocked. But could anything have made my experience better? Only one thing. People. I went a second time on Friday night with 3 of my friends. Lo and behold, only 4 other people were in the theater. I shook it off, knowing that the movie would still be fun. We walked out as the previews began to get some popcorn. And returned to a theater with over 30 people in it. Sure, 30 people doesn't seem like much, but with my friends (one in particular), I knew it was going to be pretty crazy. Oh, by the way, as my friend walked up to the theater before the movie, we noticed a bulge in his shirt and paper in his hands. He had brought with him 4 plastic snakes and a fan participation script. This was going to be epic. The movie started, and the experience changed immediatly. It wasn't better or worse, just different. At random points in the movie, my friend would scream out funny one-liners, making everyone in the theater laugh, and once the godly line slipped out of Samuel's mouth, we all stood up with our snakes in hand (no pun intended) and shouted at the top of our lungs, swinging the plastic critters and jumping in circles. Things like that make a theater a fun place to be. And the best part were our fellow watchers. There were no shouts of "Shut up!," just laughing and agreement, sometimes even cheering our raucousness on. Snakes on a Plane has a solid 70% on RottenTomatoes, and the sales are literaly falling off the map, but the movie did what a movie should do. It found and fan base and did everything it could to make them happy. If just for the fact you want to see a funny flick where nothing really matters, I once again highly recommend this Blockbuster, and before it goes out of the theaters, I hope to see it one more time. Peace and love snakes!

The Triforce Cometh

I just recently purchased a TI-83 Plus calculator, which is a graphing calculator supposedly used for math up in the high school grades and beyond to college. But that's not the only reason a TI-83 is one of the most popular calculators in the world. These calculators were one of the first that games could easily be developed for. One game currently in production is The Legend of Zelda. The Zelda games hold a special place in my heart, and I can't wait for Twilight Princess, but for now, a calculator game will have to do. Tonight, I am going to post a link to the demo, and put up some screenshots, so come back later!

Sporadic

That is probably what my posting will become now that I am done working and back to a regular routine. But I still do have a weekly download. This is a rather hefty 1.4 or so gig demo for a game called Dark Messiah of Might and Magic. I am currently DLing it, so I will have a review in an hour or so, or maybe tomorrow. Just depends. Well, have fun with this demo, it's supposed to be a lot of fun.

Quick statement, you do need a Gamespot account. It's free and easy though.

EDIT: It was going to take 201 hours to DL it. Nevermind. You can still do it, but I'm not gonna do it.

Worksurfing or Work-surfing?

I have come to a crossroads. I have decided I am going to get a real domain for my website, making it even more fun and interesting, with *gasp* more than one page! I've got a few ideas to expand Bored at Work, but what's important right now is the name of this future internet juggernaut. So far, the two forerunners in the name category are etiher http://www.work-surfing.com/ (worksurfing.com is taken), or http://www.worksurfing.net/. I am going to put up a poll about it for everyone to vote, and you can also comment on which you think is better, or give me a suggestion for another name. Well, keep on your worksurfing, or work-surfing if you prefer, but remember, I need to reach a decision by the end of the week, so vote while you can!

Kingdom Hearts: The Lost Keyhole

Kingdom Hearts is probably my favorite game of all time. At the same time, I have played games better than KH, in gameplay, graphics, even story (See: Final Fantasy X), but the emotion in this game is completely unsurpassed in my opinion. I will never forget how I felt when I first beat Kingdom Hearts, and all the flaws in the game were made up for by that sense that you really were the main character. Kingdom Hearts 2...well, I dont really want to talk about it. It was a great game, but on a completely different scale, with a way less involving story. Anyway, that's not what my post is about...

A man I only know by the name of Cheksa has been working on a Kingdom Hearts Fan Game, using RPG Maker XP, for about a year, and it is due to be called Kingdom Hearts: The Lost Keyhole. Check out the forums HERE. From the pictures I've seen it's going to be a very fun game, and it's about 80% done. One of the best parts. They are getting live voices fo the game. I think I am actually going to sign up for one, so there. No, it's too late, you can't stop me. I'm jbsseagull on the forums. I'll post some more informative links about this game soon.

When You Have Stood In The Presence of God (Snakes on a Plane Review)

No, I'm not talking about a religious experience, though you could consider it one, I'm talking about the greatest movie to grace the theaters not only this summer, this year, or the last 3 years, I'm talking about the greatest movie in the history of film and entertainment. Before I went to go see Snakes on a Plane, I had mixed feelings. One of my friends had seen it Thursday at 10:00, the first showing, and said that it was good, but it did not quite live up to all the hype. This had me disappointed, to say the least. Later in the day, I read some reviews on RottenTomatoes.com. Usually, I hate this site, but as I clicked on the Snakes on a Plane review page, I practically yelled at my future SoaP movie partner that the movie had gotten an 81% so far, amazingly good for a movie that is made to be so-bad-it's-good. The librarian politely asked me to leave the library. So by the time that we reached the theater, I was a little worried, and all I could do was wait. We got into the theater and sat down with the other 8 people there, and in just a couple of minutes, the first preview started playing. The anticipation was rising as my friend and I saw the New Line Cinemas Presents logo pop up. Then we both burst out laughing as the beginning credits started to roll. I hate to ruin anything in the movie, but let me just say, the beginning is in no way what you will be expecting. The laughs didn't stop there, and with us adding our commentary throughout the entire movie, everything this movie represented was made apparent. This was the most fun movie I have ever been to in my life. My friend went as far as to stand up and clap when Samuel said his now famous line, and the only other group of youngsters there stood up with him to applaud the greatness. By the end of the movie, all of our expectations had not only been shattered, but the movie lived up to every single bit of amazingness it promised. For one of the very few times in my life, something great truly lived up to it's incredible level of hype. Snakes on a Plane gets a 97% approval rating for me, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

EDIT: This review, along with future reviews can be found at my movie reviewing webpage, Worksurfing Movie Reviews! Yay shameless plugs!

I Found It On...CafePress!

On Sunday I bought this shirt. It officially rocks out loud. Once I get it, I am going to take a picture of myself wearing it. By the way, Cafepress is a very intriguing site, where you can design your own, well, anything, from shirts to buttons to coffee mugs. It's a great idea, and even though I haven't completely figured it out, I still love it. Check it out for a buttload of SoaP t-shirts. Once my Snakes on a Plane collection is complete, I will make a big stack for a picture on the blog. All I need now is the novel, the DVD, it's counterpart Snakes on a Train, and an actual live snake...scratch the real snake and you've got my collection. Until I find some more stuff. Cafepress FTW!

The End of the Story

The Series of Unfortunate Events is a wonderfully written story with great wit and mesmerizing characters, rarely matched in the literary world today. And it is one of the most depressing series of books you will ever read. If you haven't read any of the books yet, do it before October 13th, yep that's a Friday, when the final SoUE book comes out: The End. This will hopefully be a masterful finale, with as much emotion as the last 12, and most definitely a gripping and satisfactory ending. Lemony Snicket, the author, has stated that he might stick around to write more stories after the saga of the Baudelaire family has ended, but for now, mark your calender for Friday the 13th of October, when this horrible series of unfortunate events will finally come to a close.

Here Comes Snappy Claus!

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted, but I was way to caught up in America's Got Talent, the most godforsaken show on television. It was especially upsetting tonight, because my favorite performer, Bobby Badfingers, was not picked to move on. America has truly failed me. But wait, his memory can still live on. This is truly a gift from the heavens: Badfingers.com! That's right, it has everything from movie clips to solo mp3's from Badfingers himself. Heck, you can even sign up for the Whippersnapper fanclub, to be even closer to Bobby. This is honestly too good to be true. Here is a great rendition of a classic song. You are sure to love it.

http://www.badfingers.com/audio/wipeout-revisited.mp3

w00t!

Have you ever heard this expression? If you are on the internet, probably so. Anyways, this is usually an expression of joy or success. And the site Woot.com is exactly that, joyful and successful. Woot is a site that sells one product every day. Just one, and they sell it cheaper than you will find it in any store, other than maybe Amazon or EBay, but they cheated, so we won't count them. It is very interesting to see what they are selling every day, even though it will sometimes not be quite as interesting when they are selling funnel cake holders. Which, by the way, they don't usually sell. So check out the site, and maybe place an order. It's fast, safe (I've done it, successfully might I add), and cheap, and any combination of those words is usually a good thing.

Online Video Game Player

I just recently got an email from my uncle, and in it was a link: onVGP. This site contains 1000's, yes thousands of old video games, anywhere from Super Mario Bros. to Zelda to Sonic. It is still in Beta, and isn't anywhere near perfected, but if you need a quick or extremely long fix, this is the place to go. Not too many people seem to be visiting this website, so spread it around, as it can provide hours of fun. I'll be putting it in one of my link sections later too. Have fun, but not at school/work! Fun is forbidden!