A Touching Home Depot Story

Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot.

At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, (the manager) to finish waiting on a customer. When Walt was finished, Mary asked, "How much for that faucet?"

Walt replied, "That's pewter and it costs $300."

"My goodness that sure is a lot," Mary exclaimed.

Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"

Mary replied, "No, but I will for the faucet."

This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot.


Somethings just cannot be bought...

One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street when
a car pulled up beside him, and the window was wound down.

"I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car"
said the male driver.

"No way, get stuffed" replied the boy.
How about a bag of lollies and £10?" asked the driver.

"I said no way" replied the irritated youngster.

"What about a bag of lollies and FIFTY QUID, eh?" quizzed
the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy.
"No, I'm not getting in the fricken car!" answered the

"OK, I know what you want. I'll give you £100 and a bag of
lollies" the driver offered.

"NO" screamed the boy.
"What will it take to get you into the car?" asked the
driver with a long sigh.

The boy replied "Listen Dad, you bought the Skoda, you
live with it."


My Mate's Accident

I woke up after a big night to go to the toilet to just find a pair of soiled pants lying on top of the toilet of the big student house...placed like a Van Gogh painting, it looked like the sunflower one.

Being a bit worse for wear, me and Ray got a hockey stick and were dangling them over his face when he was sleeping, plopping them on his head and then cracking up...we then hooked them around the back of his bed by his face and went out the room.

When he woke he looked sooo sheepish, we then told him that we heard screams from a girl in his bedroom in the night and she left...we didn't know who she was, he pulled her on the way home, saying something about you getting all shit freaky on her or something...

He looked so bad and didn't go out for 4 months afterwards! We didn't feel bad because he was a bit boring when out anyway :D